Are you an emotional overeater?
One of the most common reasons people seek food is emotional hunger. It's not that their stomach is empty; in fact a lot of overweight people haven't felt physical hunger in years! Many people overeat preemptively to stave off the anxiety they have about the mere possibilty of experiencing hunger. Others eat to soothe themselves, or out of boredom.
Stuffing your feelings with food is a way of avoiding actually feeling those difficult emotions such as fear, anger, guilt or sadness. To make matters worse, overeating often leads to feelings of guilt, shame and self-loathing - which just adds to the level of stress. (If you have serious difficulty facing unresolved emotional pain, I suggest you seek professional counseling.)
Food is a poor substitute for love.
It's enormously helpful to learn how to recognize your own emotional triggers to overeat. Before you eat something, ask yourself, "Is anything currently upsetting me? What is it I really want? Is it food or something else?" Once you understand what you're really hungry for, you can deal with feelings of emptiness by beginning to fill your life with meaningful activities and relationships instead of your mouth with food. How do you do this?
Step 1: Identify and acknowledge your emotions.
The next time you get the urge to raid the fridge or drive-thru, take a moment to ask yourself, "What are some of the emotions I may be stuffing by overeating?" Write them down and acknowledge them. Describe as many as you can identify and just be with them for a minute or two. It helps to breathe.
Step 2: Experience your emotions.
If it's too scary to experience the emotion, that's okay. Just identifying and labeling your emotions is a great start. However, if it feels safe to do so, and you are in a place where it is appropriate, allow your emotions to gently surface and experiment with actually feeling them. Be sure to breathe.
Step 3: Become an observer of your emotions.
Without trying to change anything, simply observe and notice how the emotion actually feels in your body. No need to go into the story attached to the emotion, simply observe it as a kind of energy you are experiencing. Where is it located? Is it heavy or light? Is it hot or cold? Does it have a shape or a color? Is the energy slow, fast, tiny or big? Is there an image? What other qualities do you notice?
Example: I'm sad and that feels like a tightening and upward pressure in my throat, a sinking blue feeling in my chest. I notice a warmth in the inner corner of my eyes as they are filling with tears. The tears feel warm on my face and the muscles of my face are contracted. As my tears fall I notice the feeling in my throat is softer. I feel ashamed that I am crying and that shame feels like a hot energy rising into my head and a lot of tension in my shoulders. The tension in my shoulders is cold and almost feels like my upper back and shoulders are forming a turtle shell.
Step 4: Release your emotions.
Often we experience emotions as a kind of pressure, usually in the chest or belly, sometimes in the head. Close your eyes and imagine that you have a pressure valve that you can operate in order to let some of the pressure escape. It can be a dial or a hollow tube or pipe. Whatever it is, imagine you are releasing the emotional pressure safely through the valve or pipe. Notice that we are not "processing" or trying to change the emotion, simply releasing the pressure. Repeat this imagery until the pressure is more comfortable or totally released. This will only take a few minutes and gets easier with practice.
Step 5: Let your emotions guide you to a better solution than food.
Close your eyes, take several deep cleansing breaths and ask yourself, "Instead of eating, what are some better ways to deal with this emotion?"
Examples: When I feel lonely, I can call a friend. When I feel sad, I can cry or write in my journal. When I feel frustrated, I can take a long walk. When I feel angry I can go to the gym and work out, or hit some pillows with a plastic baseball bat. (Try it, it works!)
Step 6: Create a strategy to deal with whatever is causing the emotions.
Ask yourself,
"Will eating food help resolve this situation?"
"Is there a new way to think about this so I feel better?"
"Are there any actions I can take to actually make it better?"
In the rare instance you feel there are absolutely no actions you can imagine taking to make a situation better, you can always take the simple yet powerful action of surrendering the problem to your Higher Power, whatever that is for you. There is great power in the wisdom to "Let go and let God." You might also seek support from a 12-step program, professional counseling or clergy. However in most cases you will find there are many things you can do to actually help resolve the situation. In fact this is the message those unwanted emotions have been trying to deliver all along.
So start acknowledging and learning from your emotions. Instead of eating, find out what's eating you and get moving! Write down two action steps you can take and also a deadline. It's fine to start with baby steps. Even the smallest action will help you begin to exercise healthy control of your emotional eating.
Linda Gabriel is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and the author of The Inner Power Series: Abundance for Life, Love and Money and Weight Loss Forever books and companion hypnosis CD's.
Find out about Linda Gabriel's 12 Week Weight Loss Forever Bootcamp Teleseminar at http://www.lindagabriel.com
